My husband accuses me of avoiding him every time I take a nap’

My husband accuses me of avoiding him every time I take a nap’

A mum is at her wits end after working gruelling 12-hour nightshifts and being left exhausted after her husband accused her of ‘napping to avoid him’

Anyone who has ever worked unsociable hours will tell you it’s tough, it’s gruelling and no, your body never really does get used to being completely nocturnal five days a week – if you want any chance of having a social life at the weekends, that is.

In fact, working nights is a daunting enough prospect, without the added pressure of having to take care of a house, a husband and children all in your down time when all your body wants and needs is to sleep.

Sadly, one woman has found herself just about at breaking point after doing exactly that – all because her insecure husband doesn’t like it when she needs to take naps – in fact, he goes as far as accusing her of using them to avoid him. Seriously.

“I work as an overnight manager at a big chain retail store. I live about 40 minutes away and I work AT LEAST 12 hours as my relief in the morning is always late,” the mum explained on Reddit, before noting that anyone who has worked in overnight stocking will know how physically demanding it is.

“I almost never get breaks and by the time I leave, I’m usually beat,” she added.

“I also have children and often have to come home and clean some type of mess and prep some things, or do errands before laying down to sleep for the day. However, make it an absolute point to wake up earlier than I have to (so less sleep during the week) as to hang out with my husband and children before work.”

The mum explained that during her first day off she tries to nap for between two and three hours while her kids are in school, so that she can be awake and spend time with them when they get home in the evening.

“This usually works, but sometimes if it has been a rough week, I fall asleep on myself during family time. No matter how hard I try to push through, the only cure is sleep,” she wrote.

However, tensions have been brewing in her home of late, after her husband started frequently telling her she should be used to her nightshifts by now, even going as far as accusing her of using naps to “check out and avoid hanging out with him.”

“Even though, I spend every single second I AM awake with him. We do errands together, shower together, drive the kids to school together. Everything I possibly can while I’m awake to make up for the fact that I MAY need a nap on my off day,” the mum fumed.

“I think, obviously my body needs sleep or it wouldn’t basically shut down like that. But maybe from the outside, it can seem like I’m using it as an ‘out.’ My husband does end up having to cook/clean/parent while I’m asleep.”

After turning to Reddit, the woman was left inundated with comments urging her to put her own needs ahead of her husband’s, unless she wants to find herself serious injured or unwell.

“Seriously, why are you not allowed ANY time to yourself without him demanding you make it up to him?” one Reddit user commented. “That is incredibly co-dependent thinking on his part, and makes me nervous for your long-term mental health.”

Meanwhile, another added: “He’s going to get you seriously injured or even killed if you fall asleep behind the wheel.

“I know this, because I used to work an overnight shift, and I didn’t get enough sleep. One day, I nodded off behind the wheel on my way to work, and nearly got myself killed.”

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196 thoughts on “My husband accuses me of avoiding him every time I take a nap’

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